If you’re like me you probably have a gym membership, but don’t use it as much as you should. I’ll go maybe 3 times a week for an hour, but I think I just like saying that I belong. It makes me feel less out of shape. It’s not that I don’t like the gym it’s just I’d rather sit at home watching ESPN then run on a treadmill. Ya know, do the American thing where we will watch other people participate in physical activity. When I do get the energy to go to the gym I immediately find certain things that I hate…
- When they make you take a picture for your id card/computer account. I get it you don’t want people coming into the gym that don’t belong, but how many criminals out there are really waiting for that one chance to nab my Ymca card?
- The treadmills they have in front of the mirrors. I don’t want to watch myself have a heart attack.
- The treadmills they have in front of the windows. I don’t want other people watching me while I have a heart attack.
- The guy who always asks me if I want a spotter. No, I don’t want you helping me bench press by having your junk 2 inches from my face and yelling, “Come on push it. You can go harder!”
- Guys who wear tight shorts. The last thing I need is to be doing is seeing the outline of your cock while doing crunches.
Maybe I should just invest in the Bowflex…it would look great next to my perfect pushup and ab lounge that are collecting dust in my closet.